About Japan and studying Japanese
Today, I’m taking the time to write another blog post. With this entry, I’ll probably have to introduce a new tag, as this topic will likely come up again.
I don't remember if I’ve ever written about Japan and the Japanese language on this blog before. If not, here’s an introduction for those who don’t know me well or at all.
Japan <3 – Looking Back
As a teenager, I became interested in Japan — yes, through manga, at least at first. I have to say, in Germany — perhaps especially in my hometown — we were quite behind in that regard. Manga and anime arrived here fairly late, were rather rare, and the selection was small. When I was young, my classmates made fun of me and my friends who also liked manga and anime. I ignored it and delved deeper into the subject. Manga and anime gained high popularity later.
To be honest, I haven’t consumed that many manga and anime in my life — I’m not really what people in the West consider an "otaku."
However, I did dive deeper, specifically through music. It probably started with some anime theme song, and soon I ended up in J-rock and then Visual Kei. Those were good times, but I won’t get sidetracked.
To get to the point: I like(d) the language and the aspects of Japanese culture I learned about so much that I started learning Japanese. At first, more or less on my own, and later with the help of a (now former) friend who had come to Germany for a working holiday.
I don’t remember exactly how old I was — 18, 19, 20? Around that time, I briefly worked in a small shop that sold Japanese goods and met a Japanese teacher there. She offered private lessons, which was perfect for me. I had previously tried evening group classes, but I didn’t like them as much. I stuck with the private lessons for several years and visited Japan multiple times as a tourist during that period, staying for one to three months at a time. Since I was a student back then, I had the chance to save money for these trips and the time to travel during semester breaks.
The End of an Era?
As perhaps was inevitable, I eventually couldn’t maintain this "lifestyle" any longer. When I was preparing for my final exams, I stopped my Japanese lessons and never went back. Some time after I graduated, I could no longer afford trips to Japan.
Over time, the contacts I had with Japanese pen pals faded, and eventually, I had no use for my Japanese skills anymore.
Years later, I found myself mourning what I had lost — or what I thought I had lost. My language skills became rusty, and I missed Japan. I still do. I miss the culture, the exchange. It’s hard to describe, but I feel a strange connection to the country, its people and its culture.
From the moment I started learning the language and especially after my first visit to Japan, my feeling was confirmed. Of course, I know that living in a country is different from visiting as a tourist. I probably wouldn’t want to live in Japan unless I didn’t have to be part of the Japanese work culture. And I’ve certainly had some less pleasant experiences there — being looked at skeptically as a tall Western woman, mostly by elderly people and children, feeling like an Alien. But overall, my experiences were overwhelmingly positive. In many ways, I feel more connected to Japanese culture than to my own. Simply put, I often feel like I don’t really fit into my own culture. My experiences with Japan and the Japanese language have definitely shaped me as a person and have probably distanced me a bit from the mentality of my own people.
Plagued by Nostalgia
For a while, I didn’t engage with the topic at all and was solely focused on my art. But at some point, Japan caught up with me again. Somehow, I came back into contact with it and became very nostalgic, even sad. This has happened repeatedly over the past few years. Whenever something reminds me of Japan, I get this feeling of having lost something. A deep nostalgia washes over me, and I feel sad.
Of course, I’ve thought about how I could improve the situation for myself. Naturally, I don’t have the money to travel right now. And learning Japanese — or in my case, resuming my studies — takes time. Back then, I spent at least an hour a day or more studying. I can’t manage that anymore. The day already feels too short for everything I’d like to do. I’m already falling behind my want-to-do-list as it is.
That’s why I’ve dismissed the idea of studying Japanese again or finding new pen pals. I still have one, actually, but we only exchange letters once a year.
The Cure
But maybe things aren’t as bleak as they seem. It took me a long time to realize it, but the solution is podcasts.
I probably didn’t think of this sooner because I never really listened to podcasts. However, I started not too long ago to achieve other goals — improving my ability to think deeply, articulate my thoughts better, and reflect more. My favorite podcast is a philosophy podcast from a German broadcaster. My wife is an avid podcast listener, and I guess she got me hooked.
I recommended my favorite podcast to her, and she pointed out that, unfortunately, no new episodes would be released. I still have a few left to listen to, but I thought, "Oh no, what am I going to listen to when this podcast is over?"
I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but I somehow came up with the idea of looking for Japanese podcasts. In the past, I often struggled to find learning materials at my level — most resources were aimed at beginners. I’m somewhere around an intermediate level. I never followed a structured curriculum (like JLPT) and never took an official exam, so it’s hard to assess my exact level.
To my delight, I discovered that there are podcasts for intermediate learners, and I immediately tried out a few.
I still miss some vocabulary here and there, but overall, I can follow along quite well.
I titled this section "The Cure" because I now feel somewhat healed. Even though I haven’t been to Japan in a long time and probably won’t go back anytime soon, that doesn’t mean I’ll never visit again. Someday, I’ll have another opportunity, and then my wife can come along — she’s never been there.
I feel like I’ve reestablished a connection with Japan, and I can continue improving my language skills, even if only slowly. But at least I won't forget more of what I knew.
Maybe I’ll even find a new pen pal. More than one would probably be too much anyway.
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>>> Music: Turbo Boost - Garth Knight
>>> Mood: hungry
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